What a horrible thing it is to think that a person is ever more than just a person. The world is full of people who are constantly imagining and constantly being misimagined.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Randy, Again

Gosh, kid. Please answer me, I need you. I need to know you are alive. I need to know that somewhere in the world you are still pumping blood throughout a moving body. You know, I sat on your profile for a little bit just aimlessly roaming and the long that played. . well let's just say it won't get out of my head and I can't stop listening to it. You know why I am so worried? Because, throughout it all, you never took one bit of it seriously. You didn't know how sick you were. .. are.
Dear Darrin,
I know if I see you I will get over all my fears. I know if I see you I'll know you love me and that I love you, you and only you and know that we are going to be together forever but right now, you have to understand. . my depression is holding so tightly it's almost choking me and right now I don't know any of that. Be patient with me.  Please.

My Resolution

My resolution this year is simple: live.
I am so close to danger right now, thats how it goes, the pills work after a bit but at the beginning nothing is different.
I feel empty.
I can't help it.
I feel like I'm going to lose him.
I feel like I've already lost him
This isn't going to well is it?