What a horrible thing it is to think that a person is ever more than just a person. The world is full of people who are constantly imagining and constantly being misimagined.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I Will Be

I came home from school today,  completely tired and wiped out, the fight we had took everything out of me, and I wasn't prepared for me. I sat down and stared at you, I wasn't quite sure what to say so I  told you that. You stared back and said you were tired of being controlled. Sorry. I wasn't prepared for you to pull out my diamond ring and lay it on the couch, the sign that we both agreed would mean we were over. My heart dropped to my stomach, my stomach to my feet and I lost it. Why? You said you loved me, you said it then too but then you told me that we could wait and after the mission. .I blanked right there. .I wouldn't live 2 weeks without you, let alone 2 years. My mind was already whirling, thinking of which pills were available to me. Two years and five months, that was all. . that wasn't very long you said. .No. .
I couldn't breathe, I ran over and sat next to you crying into your shoulder, your head touched mine as you gave some sign you still cared and I resolved then and there that I wasn't going to let you go. I wasn't going to lose you. So i fought harder, I promised I would give you everything you ever needed and I would be the one for you, like I already know I am. I was so angry at Wagner actually, for making me this way and I immediately blamed him for breaking us apart. But I kept that to myself, and  I begged you not to leave me, I pleaded. . one chance, just one. 
Well, whoever is watching over me up there. . I owe him because he answered my prayers. .I will be everything you need, I promise. .I won't mess this one up. Ever.