What a horrible thing it is to think that a person is ever more than just a person. The world is full of people who are constantly imagining and constantly being misimagined.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Night

Observationally, and perhaps hypothetically as to not hurt anyone’s feelings, this is what I find. The guy sitting behind me yelling “Die Jumping Jew,” is extremely annoying. He’s drowning out my music which is up all the way, which is pathetic.  Jumping Jew was maybe funny the first time, now. . It just annoys me. He’s so dangerously loud I want to rip out his vocal cords. And he just keeps saying it, and saying it and saying it.
                Moving on, I’m just annoyed. Why? I find this absolutely dreadful, I am now in the very middle of what I hate. This sucks. And it just keeps going, and going. And that girl, her voice makes me want to punch her in the face. Ugh, only 6 more hours. .  . Shoot me. Yet again with the Jumping Jew guy, I will hit him.  Why am I here again? I haven’t spoken a word in the past 6 hours anyway, what is the point? Can I go home? NO. Why? Because my boyfriend doesn’t listen to me and finds loopholes and ways to make me feel like crap and does his own thing anyway. Other than that. . . Don’t get me started. The wind is swinging the swing outside, it looks kind of creepy actually. Yep, really creepy. There is snow up here (: Yeah, and it’s cold, so that just pisses me off more. And he’s going to be here over night, ridiculous.
                Speaking of religion, which I wasn’t but I thought I would. I hate it, I absolutely hate it. It is so hard for me to really believe in anything. I just want to be me, why do I have to follow rules? I am the wrong person to have a boyfriend going on a mission, completely. But hey, that’s okay. I can decide those things for myself.  So I will. And I really don’t see how it’s anyone elses business. But hey, if people get upset that’s cool. And I know people say that the commandments are there to keep you safe and all that, and that’s great for people like that, but I’m not like that. I’m sorry. Buddhism, let’s see. The eightfold path, the four truths, basically put it’s be a better person, work to be a better person. I can do that. But, maybe not, because religion is wasted on me, I’ve got to much of my dad in me, too much doubt and confrontation that wants to battle everything people say. 
                You can preach to me and tell me I’m wrong, go for it. You can show me your ‘facts’, sure. You can do whatever you want and I will listen to you but I will have to politely decline. Once I’m 18 and it’s my choice I’m out of here. I’m moving to Boston, playing in the WNBA and living life without religion being so in my face. Utah Mormon’s are the worst, they are so judgmental and angry if you go against them, and then it’s just almost like “okay, I’m over it” because you can’t say anything or they will want to rip your eyes out of your face.
                Which is a shame really, I like my eyes. Now I wish I could remember Wagner’s number; that would give me something to do. He would talk to me.  Found it (: I am pro. Not really, but hey. Well, there goes that idea. Not going to work apparently, which is okay because all we do is argue about if I’m ever going to send him a cute picture. Which can get really annoying, save me. Save me, save me, save me, save me, SAVE ME. O, wonderful. Now he won’t leave me alone. I hate when people don’t leave me alone. Oh no, I just realized I ran out of crap to rant about. That’s not good. Something needs to annoy me and quick, or I’ll lose the only source of attention I am giving. Hmmm.  . . . Oh she spoke. I win, I win. Uh, okay. Well, my shoulder has a stabbing pain in it. That can’t be good. 

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