The House That Built Me

I know they say you can’t go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma’am I know you don’t know me from Adam
But these handprints on the front steps are mine

Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could walk around I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could walk around in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I walk around I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me


Funny, I took this song and thought about it a while. The house that built me wasn't my own house, my house is not even a house. It's nothing like a house, in fact, it's a person. And this person is going to leave me shortly and I'm not entirely sure how I am going to handle this. Part of me says I'm fine, part of me says that I can do it. 
Last night we were talking and I asked if it was weird to think about us getting married. You shook your head and said "It's something I realized was going to happen a while ago. I've accepted it." And in this light, your house is going to mean so much more to me once you no long live there. I think I'll do some crying, some staying, some lacking, some wanting, some thinking. I'll miss you so much. But then again I don't know if I'll lose you for two years, they say that once you've done these things it makes living with the spirit 24/7 difficult, most people come home. Part of me is sad for this and part of me thinks, well I get to keep you and we get married when I graduate. But is this being too selfish? Should I let you fly and hope to God that I can handle it? Maybe.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it,
This brokenness inside me might start healing. . 
Darrin Robert Olsen, the brokenness inside me is starting to heal. I owe you everything.