What a horrible thing it is to think that a person is ever more than just a person. The world is full of people who are constantly imagining and constantly being misimagined.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

It's Haunting But Compared To Your Eyes...

I know I should leave you alone. I know I shouldn't regress to this. Let's not pretend that I'll ever be alone at night, let's not pretend that you ARE alone right now. You cheated on me. YOU lost ME. And here I am crawling right back into those daunting arms, the ones that held other girls when they were supposed to be mine. But I can't hide from the facts, the fact is, every time you come running back to me, asking for my forgiveness and I just look at you and I wonder how in the world we got to be this way. But then I think of Him and I realize you are a worthless piece of junk and I should leave you alone. And I will. I swear on my life I will. But when he leaves I need someone there to pull me away from you or I know I'll think we can be friends. And being friends with you will cause me nothing but more heartache because you are a lying, cheating, miserable piece of junk. And who is going to be there to save me from that? It sure as hell won't be me because I stayed with you for two months even after I knew what you'd done to me. Let's be honest, if I get to deep into this I will be wondering who's with you at night, wondering if she's the one that replaced me. If she's the one that "opened up". There's a damn good reason WHY I didn't open up to you, because you would hurt me, I was never blind to that. I knew someday, somewhere, you would break my heart. I was protecting myself. And in the end I gave you everything I had, which is why I can't give Him everything I have because you still have chunks of me. I want them back! I want to be me again, I want to have the security of knowing that I have all of me, that some pieces don't still linger in your hands, being crushed every time you breathe. I hate you so much that it hurts to know you are alive over Cameron. You are a waste of human space and I would rather have my best friend here. I don't know what to do about you. About you just leave me alone because this will be the first time in two years that I stand up to you and tell you what you really are. Don't you dare coming around here. The last time you ruined me, kissing me? You had the gall to kiss me and  try and get with me? You came to get your jacket, keep your word for once. 
The end. 

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